Sera tamen respexit
Libertas. -- Virgil.
A Clerk I was in London gay.
-- OKEEFE.
IF peradventure, Reader, it to e t of an office; to o decrepitude and silver e; to o forget t to remember t as tives of co appreciate my deliverance.
It is noy years since I took my seat at transition at fourteen from t play-time, and tly-intervening vacations of sco t, nine, and sometimes ten tendance at a counting- time partially reconciles us to anytent -- doggedly contented, as wild animals in cages.
It is true I o myself; but Sundays, admirable as titution of t very reason t adapted for days of unbending and recreation. In particular, ttendant upon a city Sunday, a reets. ternal bells depress me. ts, pictures, all ttering and endless succession of knacks and geentatiously displayed radesmen, s of tropolis so delig out. No book-stalls deliciously to idle over -- No busy faces to recreate templates trast to emporary relaxation from it. Noto be seen but unenances -- or best -- of emancipated `prentices and little tradesfolks, maid t leave to go out, ty of enjoying a free rollers in t day look anyt comfortable.
But besides Sundays I Easter, and a day at Cmas, o go and air myself in my native fields of fords indulgence; and t of its recurrence, I believe, alone kept me up tolerable. But ance keep touc not a series of seven uneasy days, spent in restless pursuit of pleasure, and a y to find out o make t of t, e of it, it ing upon ty-one tedious must intervene before succill t of its coming tion upon tivity. it it, as I ained my thraldom.
Independently of ttendance, I ed y for business. tter years, o suc it enance. My s flagged. I ually a dread of some crisis, to ude, I served over again all nigerrors of imaginary false entries, errors in my accounts, and ty years of age, and no prospect of emancipation presented itself. I o my desk, as it ered into my soul.
My felloimes rally me upon trouble legible in my countenance; but I did not kno it monto be remembered by me, L----, tner in tly taxed me axed, I ly made confession of my infirmity, and added t I o resign o en me, and tter rested. A ly in my disclosure t I myself, and icipating my o anxious one, I verily believe, in my quitting my desk to go mig eigo attend t, noime is surely come, I o old t t terror I le relief to me, -- ter astonis B---- , t partner, began a formal o me on torious conduct during time (t I, t? I protest I never o t on to descant on tiring at a certain time of life ( panted !) and asking me a feions as to t of my oy, of o , t I s from to t of tomed salary -- a magnificent offer! I do not knoitude, but it ood t I accepted told t I o leave tammered out a bo just ten minutes after eig gratitude forbids me to conceal to t munificent firm in t, and Lacy.
Esto perpetua!
For t day or t stunned, overoo confused to taste it sincerely. I , t I . I ion of a prisoner in tile, suddenly let loose after a forty years confinement. I could scarce trust myself of time into Eternity -- for it is a sort of Eternity for a man to ime all to seemed to me t I ime on my ime, I ed up into a vast revenue; I could see no end of my possessions; I ed some steo manage my estates in time for me. And me caution persons groive business, not lig omary employment all at once, for t. I feel it by myself, but I kno my resources are sufficient; and no t giddy raptures ion. I am in no ime a I do not o do in transient y miles a day, to make t of time roublesome, I could read it a I do not read in t violent measure, ime my o candle-ligime, I used to my in by-gone ers. I er pleasure; I let it come to me. I am like the man
----ts born, and o him,
In some green desart.
quot;Years,quot; you ;ed simpleton calculating upon? old us, fifty.quot;
I y years, but deduct out of to ot to myself, and you ill a young fello is true time, o live it, is otime, not of my poor days, long or s, is at least multiplied for me ten next years, if I stretcy. `tis a fair rule-of-three sum.
Among trange fantasies t of my freedom, and of yet gone, one a vast tract of time ervened since I quitted ting conceive of it as an affair of yesterday. tners, and ted -- being suddenly removed from to me. to illustrate tragedy by Sir Robert h:
---- `t just now away;
I since ime to sear;
And yet tance does the same appear
As if housand years from me.
time takes no measure in Eternity.
to dissipate to go among to visit my old desk-fello I beloate militant. Not all te restore to me t pleasant familiarity, met t off but faintly. My old desk; t, ed to anot must be, but I could not take it kindly. D----l take me, if I could not feel some remorse -- beast, if I , -- at quitting my old compeers, tners of my toils for six and ty years, t smoot been so rugged ter all? or is too late to repent; and I also kno tions are a common fallacy of t my smote me. I ly broken t us. It least not courteous. I sime before I get quite reconciled to tion. Fare not for long, for again and again I o move, and gentlemanly! Pl----, officious to do, and to volunteer, good services ! -- and t mansion for a Grestington of old, stately s; -excluding, pent-up offices, or to my ern fosterer of my living, fare in tion of some ;; t t, as I do from my labours, piled on t, and full as useful! My mantle I bequeath among ye.
A fortnige of my first communication. At t period I ranquillity, but reac. I boasted of a calm indeed, but it ive only. Somet flutter ; an unsettling sense of novelty; to omed lig of my apparel. I rict cellular discipline suddenly by some revolution returned upon ter. It is natural to me to go eleven oclock in treet, and it seems to me t I ering t t very . I digress into Soo explore a book-stall. Mety years a collector. trange nor ne. I find myself before a fine picture in a morning. as it ever ot is become of Fisreet reet? Stones of old Mincing-lane, o tsteps of oil-ing flints no t is Cime, and I am strangely among t o compare tion to a passing into anotime stands still in a manner to me. I all distinction of season. I do not knoo be individually felt by me in its reference to t days; in its distance from, or propinquity to, t Sunday. I urday nigions. tinctly during t, affecting my appetite, spirits, amp;c. tom of t day, o folloe as a load upon my poor Sabbations. c Ete? is gone of Black Monday? All days are tself -- t unfortunate failure of a too often proved, s fugitiveness, and over-care to get test quantity of pleasure out of it -- is melted doo a o go to c grudging tle o seem to cut out of time for everyt a sick friend. I can interrupt tion over ation to take a days pleasure o indsor t is Lucretian pleasure to be beernal round -- and all for? A man can never oo mucime to oo little to do. tle son, I ogetemplative. ill no kindly eartton mills? take me t lumber of a desk t down
As loo the fiends.
I am no longer ******, clerk to tired Leisure. I am to be met rim gardens. I am already come to be kno face and careless gesture, perambulating at no fixed pace, nor tled purpose. I ; not to and from. tell me, a certain cum dignitate air, t s, o s forto gentility perceptibly. ake up a ne is to read tate of tum est. I I came into to do. I ask o myself.