Moving back a kind of stupor to my daily life, and my nig pounding out yet anotation on tending to to a routine at Oscars of t of ared at it. I on to t customer, poured a beer, sliced a lemon, and came back to tting undisturbed. and tie, and as far as I could tell, lifted his hands from his lap.
quot;s tter, mister? You touc;
quot;ould you give it to me on t glass move touc?quot;
quot; do you mean, move? ;
quot; o move for you to believe?quot;
quot;Not far.quot; I at all, and you ;
o s, and beneatarted sliding sloil it came to a about five inco . quot;A magician never reveals t to trick. tom McInnes.quot;
quot;; I said. quot;A lot of guys come in s of tricks but ts t I ever sa;
quot;Ill pay for t; McInnes said, putting a dollar on t;But you o;
and pulled t of several same trick. Yet ouc glass of ood up to go on the bar.
quot;; I called after him.
quot;Never toucuff,quot; o a raincoat. quot;And I to drink it, eit;
I lifted to my nose for a smell.
quot;Leaded.quot; ;But you kne, rig;
S ttom.
quot;Part of my study of mankind,quot; ;and our o believe in be seen.quot;
McInnes became a regular at Oscars, coming in four or five times a feent on fooling trons ricks or puzzles. Sometimes a riddle or complicated mat, adding seven, subtracting ones age and so fortil tim ed. Or a game involving matc of ed from ty of erious in ots t close to times bets o c it off less t if eed to vanisarted covering tles in 63 or 64, eacime at t;Do You ant to Kno?quot; Like a lot of drunks, McInnes became more er ed soused. Not more loquacious or morose, merely more relaxed in ities of alco a sitting, more t about range capacity for drink.
quot;Its a matter of mind over matter. A crick .quot;
quot;And ;
quot;I dont ly knos a gift, really, and at time a curse. But Ill tell you, in order to drink so muco be somet.quot;
quot;So y, you old camel?quot; Cummings laughed.
quot;todays youtenure no not for calloer of publication.quot;
quot;You ; I asked.
quot;Antion ural rituals.quot;
Cummings interrupted: quot;Slo to college.quot;
quot;ition to explain tion. I icularly interested in ting and once started a book about rural practices in tis;
quot;So you drink because of some old flame, t; Oscar asked, turning tion back to its origins.
quot;I ; ;No, s tless t demands of tomorroerdays piled up like a s t.quot;
Oscar c;Life before life?quot;
quot;Like reincarnation?quot; Cummings asked.
quot;I dont kno t, but I do kno a fes from t, events from too long ago. Put t tories t come out from deep ury ago, talk about as if it yesterday. Or today.quot;
quot;Under a spell?quot; I asked.
quot;ranscendent trance.quot;
Oscar looked suspicious. quot;y tricks.quot;
quot;Ive been knoo put a fe; said McInnes. quot;told tales from too incredible to believe, but y t one is convinced t telling trutrange t;
Cummings jumped in. quot;Id like to be ized.quot;
quot;Stay beer t.quot;
At ter t, McInnes ordered Oscar to dim ts and asked George and me to stay absolutely quiet. next to Jimmy and told o close arted speaking to ed voice, describing restful places and peaceful circumstances in sucail t Im surprised fall asleep. McInnes ran a feests, cher Jimmy was under.
quot;Raise your rigraig in front of you. Its made of trongest steel, and no matter ry, you cannot bend it.quot;
Cummings stuck out arm and could not flex it; nor, for t matter, could Oscar or George or I felt like a real iron bar. McInnes ran tests, tarted asking questions to ;e musician, Jimmy?quot;
quot;Louis Armstrong.quot;
e laug t admission. In ts of tones, but never Satchmo.
quot;Good. ouc fees youll be Louis Armstrong.quot;
Jimmy ion came instantaneously. ed into Armstrongs famous o time voice. Even tion of some old t;Ill Be Glad ; and tted out a jazz bridge. Normally Cummings able and ertaining till, slipped on a slick of beer and fallen to the floor.
McInnes raced to ; to t; o t;youll you to remember, Jimmy, t o sing out a ferong. Can you remember t?quot;
quot;U; Cummings said from rance.
quot;Good, but you remember anyt to snap my fingers, and youll wake up, ;
A goofy grin smeared on eac imagine ioning, t half-hour.
quot;And you dont remember,quot; Oscar asked, quot;Satc;
Cummings began singing quot;; and suddenly stopped himself.
quot;Mr. Jimmy Cummings, t man alive,quot; George laughed.
e all gassed Cummings over t fe;Satc; noil t ts of t nigion. For erered McInnes for more information on all quot;to tions and memories free play.quot; Dissatisfied o to Egypt to Freud, ists arguing over its validity. A piece from ternational Journal of Clinical and Experimental tled te for me: quot;It is tient, not t, o ore te from tucked it into my , reading ting a mantra.
Convinced t I could manage my oion and subconscious, I finally asked McInnes to ize me. As if o a forgotten land, McInnes could tap into my repressed life and tell me ruts, tory astical delusion. e before: In a former life, I ra, She Genghis Khan.
a nigole time ige of t could be dangerous if, under be able to recall anyt o age seven. My motales of en repeated t I not only believed salking about me, but at times t I remembered t life. Suced memories are made of glass.
McInnes kneory, my moters, my aborted college career. I even confessed to ess ode ale. Anytally divulged ionalized arut trumped my fear of being unmasked as a changeling.
t drunk staggered a, and Oscar closed ter and , o lock turned off all ts except for a lamp at t me. Suppose I said somet t if ried to blackmail me or tened to expose me to ties? t crossed my mind: I could kill time in years, I felt myself reverting to sometinct. But t he began, panic subsided.
In ty bar, across from eac a small table and listening as McInnes droned on, I felt made of stone. ance above and beyond me, and rolled my actions and feelings ence. Giving in to t like falling in love. Submit, let go. My limbs remendous gravity, as if being sucked out of space and time. Liged beam. A movie e self, ive and any distinct visual style t o draory, no plot, just cer and sensation. A face appears, speaks, and I am scared. A cold is follo notes from t a c, a o t. At some conscious level, I glimpsed a boy, ed from tia and cogether ignored.
t t of trance o look at tion, I, too, felt curiously refres for eig my sticky s and tted my temples belied t possibility. McInnes seemed totally . and drank it do of ty bar, y and fascination. I offered smoking in the dead of morning.
quot;Did I say anyt; I asked at last.
quot;Do you kno;
quot;A smattering,quot; I replied. quot;two years in ;
quot;You ;
quot; did I say? did you make of it?quot;
quot;Im not sure. s a ec;
quot;I never ;
quot;You cried out as if someterrible der teufel. t?quot;
quot;I never met t;
quot;And t a fiend?quot;
quot;Maybe.quot;
quot;Der Kobolden? You sever t;
quot;None.quot;
quot;Entfü;
quot;Sorry.quot;
quot;I could not tell rying to say. It for your parents, and it mit, mit—ts ? You ed to go ;
quot;But my parents arent German.quot;
quot;ted to take you a;
I so me.
quot;ever it for Mama and Papa and das Klavier.quot;
quot;t;
quot;I never , and you said you olen aand, so I asked you again, and you said, Fifty-nine, and I said, t cant be. ts only six years ago. And you said, clear as a bell, No ... 1859. quot;
McInnes blinked me. I te. e stared at t saying a tt so ray.
quot;I dont knoo say.quot;
quot;Kno; McInnes asked. quot;I t life. I time been a German boy.quot;
quot;I find t o believe.quot;
quot;;
quot;I dont believe in fairy tales.quot;
quot;ell ... ; McInnes yae nearly upon us. quot; do you t t?quot;
I kne I did not say. t ture refrigerator. Using t plate in t, settling my s by concentrating on simple tasks. A kind of y lig daood beer; in front on ool, and e our scrambled eggs and drank our coffee black. At t iful, and McInness eyes tired and vacant, t time .
on and so . An a me kno be coming back. t oo rarange for t;Good-bye, and good luck.quot;
As urned t for o . quot; ; I asked, quot;in t;
boto turn around. quot;You kno to ask.quot;