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Part Three Chapter Fourteen

作品:Fingersmith 作者:莎拉·沃特斯 字数: 下载本书  举报本章节错误/更新太慢

    I sruggled like a fiend. But ted, tigleman fall back in  and tart up and begin to turn. I sa o t sight of her eyes, I shrieked again.

    ting my ing. t let  you fucking let her go—!

    But t and gravel as t up its speed; and ter it , t. Noor came foro ie. too. trying to pull me closer to t let tting a be. Sed me up teps t led to t door, as if I mighers in a bag.

    Nos trouble tors?

    o my ear,  I   my ook it sharply back.

    Oh! she cried. her grip grew slack. Oh! Oh!

    Sed, said Dr Cie. I t alking about  me. ook a  a blow.

    For Gods sake, I cried,  you ricked me, tricked me—!

    t t, time; and as I turned in  me s of omac in sucors did not see. I gave a jerk, and s again. s! she said.

    atch your hands! called Dr Graves. She may snap.

    Meano tle  anot-sleeves. t look like doctors. t hold of my ankles.

    Keep eady, said Dr Graves. S out s.

    I could not tell t I  in a fit, but only  t me; t I  a lunatic, but sane as t say anytrying to find my breatraigs rose to my knees. I began to be afraid of ts rising  made me t about, I suppose.

    igie.  out a t flat spoon, made of o my side and  to my mouteet

    me. I t I s it, to keep it from going do. It tasted bad.

    I still t must have gone in, before mine.

    akes it! s rigeady.  Dr Graves. to t room? I think so. Nurse Spiller?

    t  . I saurned so t t o t t and began to struggle again. I  tleman and Maud. I omac by t, once t me into a room, they would kill me.

    A t ster grip on my ankle.

    A very bad case, said Dr Cie. o my face. t least.  be afraid, Mrs Rivers! e kno you. e are your friends. e  you o make you well.

    I tried to speak. ried to say. But t also made me dribble; and a bit of dribble fle of my moutruck Dr Cies c I  it. Any his handkerchief.

    Very good, o t ake her.

    t of doors and a room; to a landing, anotried to study t t only so many drab-coloured ceilings and er about a minute I kne me deep into t I . I could not cry out. t  my t, and I still aircase took me do, saying, to you, Mr Bates, and, atcurn, its a tig be, not a sack of feathers

    no a trunk or a piano. Not once did to une, and to beat out time of it, h his finger-ends, on my leg.

    topped. Careful, nohey said.

    t doook  tle pus, t, I found I staggered and fell. I fell upon my . One of to take it.  from it. Please, I said.

    You may say please, noo teps. Look tle devil!

    S  to me. Noers, or Rivers? Does he?

    Please, I said again. I aint Mrs Rivers. S Mrs Rivers? , Mr Bates? And I aint Nurse Spiller, I dare say. And Mr  himself. Very likely.

    So me, and s my ; and s say s sed me  me fall; and me being just then so dazed and so weak, I fell badly.

    ts for cracking my face, s on stairs, or a roof. Crack me again—s oo. ts noto me.  small little ? Used to better, are you? I s Ive  keep ladies maids, es. till stood, c them over?

    I supposed s to strip me bare;  on to my knees and ted from her.

    You may call c. You aint having my dress.

    ch, am I? she answered. ell!

    And so a fist, and s me.

    I e dodger and t I . t out of my  my o my face, and lay doo getting goics, and rick for it; and next s  and took t. took my garters, and tockings, and finally my hair-pins.

    tood, darker-faced ting.

    tticoat and sll be no business of ours. You -Mrs-Rivers? You sit in t, and steemper from a fit. Kick all you like in  out your joints, congue off. Keep you quiet. e prefers t, makes our job nicer.

    S, and s me. t  me, and done notcake my stockings and stays. I o , and tling grew very mucer.

    I could no longer , I got to my feet. trembling. I  to put too fine a point on it, properly funked. I , on my knees, to to look at tself y canvas, padded rahe walls were covered in padded

    canvas, too. t. t, very mucorn and stained. ttle tin pot I  to piddle in. t came in green and dark, like ter in a pond.

    I stood and looked at it all, in a sort of daze— t on t it  t struck. turned back to t my fingers to it—to to to to try and pull it. But it ig ood plucking at it I began to make out little dints and tears in ty canvas—little crescents, ood all at once must be t by tics—all tics, I mean— room before me. t t I anding, doing just epped a. I flung myself back, and began to beat at t.

    range. O me in or! help! Can you hear me? I coughed again. help! Can you hear me—?

    And so on. I stood and called, and coug upon topping, noo put my ear to it, to try to tell if t be anyone near—for I cant say oo t o lunatics calling, and  to mind. So tried ting, I put t and ttle tin pot togetrying to reac tin pot buckled, and t slithered and I fell.

    At last I sat on tears stung me. I put my finger-tips to my c about my

    s my  to take t, and it lay all about my sook up a lengt, meaning to comb it, some of it came a say I  I t of a girl I kne t , perer; but t muc, after all. In t up and put it in a corner.

    And as I did t, I sa looked like a crumpled art, at first; t it   of my bosom  of sig, and one of its buttons was crushed.

    It  glove of Mauds, t I aken t morning from  to o, as a keepsake of her.

    I picked it up and turned it over and over in my  myself funked, a minute before— funking o  no t glove, trick t sleman o anot to anotried to be still, it ing on needles and pins—I started up, crying out and sing. I t of all my time at Briar,  of t,   you? I o o  mind him, miss. he loves you, miss. Marry him. he loves you.

    like this . . .

    Oing of it, even no really ed. I   slap, slap, slap on t to my mout it. ed no better of. It —t

    bitc snake, t— Oo t aken . to t o to t so tlemans name. to touco to think—!

    to t of  ears. to t, if I ened, I mig I? mighe sound of her sighs.

    I could not bear it. I forgot, for t, ttle detail of urned my orick back on myself. I ed t glove, until t beyond to look at me. No-one brougockings. And t first, from all t last I greired I found I must lie upon t or drop, I became cold; and t get warm again.

    I did not sleep. From t of ten, queer noises—ss, and running feet and, once, tors  some  it began to rain, and ter  drip against t and began to t of Maud, but of Cy place beside ing for me. ?

    leman go to   t, so bury.—I t of my funeral, and  in marso prove it. Could t say I aken my s.

    , I kne. But Mrs Sucksby  believe  me out. S kept me seventeen years to lose me noil she found me!

    ts , as I gre I must only speak ors and take and let me go; but t any like t.

    And er, after all?—I would kill her.

    You can see tle idea I he fix I was really in.

    Next morning, t came back for me. S es and Mr   t t out and  big o tood and looked me over. Nurse Spiller said,

    here she is.

    ther, who was dark, said,

    Young, to be mad.

    Listen . I  to my feet and put my petticoat straigidied my en . I am not tors suppose me to be, at all. t lady, and  about everybody; and it is very important t tors kno, so I may be let out and t. I—

    Rig h her head.

    S o o , faintest mark of crimson. My o black. But I said, still carefully,

    I am sorry I  your face. I o be brougic;

    to come.

    Again tood and looked me over.

    You must call us nurse  last. But bet speak to us at all. e  muc be bat Doctor Cie may look at you. You must be put in a gotle girl! You must be no more teen.

    So catc my arm. I drew away from her.

    ill you listen to me? I said.

    Listen to you? La, if I listened to all this house, I should go mad myself. Come on, now.

    arted off mild, grech.

    I said, If youll only not touc.

    eful, Im sure.

    Sugged against o  ted me, more or less dragged me, out of t—Nurse Spiller got t o my arm-pit, and jabbed. You cant see bruises in an arm-pit. I t. S.

    ts my  of tighter and shook me.

    t. I aking—at t of t ss part.  o nurses. e met ts, or bottles, or ss.

    Good morning, t.

    Good morning, my nurses answered.

    Ne last,  me. Come up from the pads? Is she bad?

    Cracked Nancy on the cheek.

    Sled. t she?

    Sixteen, if shes a day.

    Im seventeen, I said.

    t me, in a considering sort of way.

    Ser a minute.

    Aint shough?

    s rouble? Delusions?

    And t, said the one—you know?

    terested. too slig.

    ell, they come in all sizes . . .

    I didnt kno. But being rangers to study, and talk and smile over, made me as silent. t off on igook me, doo a little room. It migry—it iless pantry, at Briar—for t do sig er in ty flannel.

    you? Lets see you wash.

    ter  my face and arms, to was.

    t ie cares y your toes are? s see your linen. S urned o Nurse Spiller, ? too good for

    tll boil up to not ug. You take t off, dear. e s, quite safe, against t, are you shy?

    S e our time. And you, a married lady.

    I aint married, I said. And Ill to keep your  my oockings and sie, and then youll be sorry.

    t me and laughed.

    y-toity! cried ts no use gro s noto me and Nurse Spiller, its t, look, and a gown and—look here—slippers.

    So one of t out a set of greyiss. So me,   ripped me bare. ook off my petticoat, t glove of Mauds fell out. I  under tband. I bent and caug up. s t? t once. t  titc.

    s pretty  is.

    You s ! I cried, snatc back. taken my clot I orn and bitten t glove all nig o take it, I siced a look in my eye.

    One gloves no use, after all, said to Nurse Spiller, quietly. And remember Miss taylor,  sake t tried to get a hose!

    So t me keep it; and tood limp and let thes were

    all mad ead of laces, and oo big for me.—Never mind, ts like boats. Plenty of room for gro to be a tartan, but tockings he shoes were of india-rubber.

    ting t, in those!

    te a minute. t me in t into plaits; and took out a needle and cotton, and ses to my head.

    Its t it, truggled; and no skin off my nose either way.

    Let me see to it, said Nurse Spiller. S off—times, as if by accident, putting t of to my scalp. t is anot dont ss and bruises.

    And so, bet me ready; and took me to t o be mine.

    Mind, noart going off your he pads, or plunge you.

    t fair! I said. t fair, at all!

    t ans and, again, tried o study took me. I  from a picture, or a play—of  like it. I t, t me in tors and nurses live. Noake me to t.—I t   door after drab-coloured door, and I began to look about me and see little t rong  tc ugly locks; and t looked as t, if you turned them,

    ring bells. And finally it broke upon me t ter all; t it lemans  to ures and looking-glasses on to  t no o mad it s  and self.

    And I cant say er all.

    I sep, t stumbled. ts were o walk in.

    Come on, said Nurse Spiller, giving me a prod.

    ? asked t the doors.

    Fourteen. here we are.

    All ttle plates screo topped at one of t a key to turned it. t it on a c.

    took us into  a proper room, but   top, t let in lig, but ts o, along  ting dressed. One bed was bare.

    to be yours, said Nurse Spiller, taking me to it. It . ts our questionable ladies. try a queer trick  it. S you, Nurse Bacon?

    t room. O t made  and pink, like sausages—an unlucky ailment, I suppose, for someone o rub ten. S all they had,

    Young, aint you?

    Sixteen, said the dark nurse.

    Seventeen, I said.

    Sixteen? e s  for Betty. Look ty!  your age. I s of stairs. I s neat y?

    So a  t fat stomac  first; but  a simpleton. S me in a troubled sort of  later t t, and  of c—ter of a very grand family.

    S a fe my feet—as if to see for  be, really. At last one of tly,

    Dont mind tty. to provoke you.

    o you? said Nurse Spiller at once.

    t, and very pale in t my eye, then glanced away as if ashamed.

    S I looked at  Betty, and at tood, gazing at not t, for all I kne be so many maniacs; and o make a bed among t to the nurses. I said,

    I  stay  make me.

    Cant  it?

    But take!

    Nurse Bacon yawned and rolled s enough.

    My name aint Maud, I ansell you? It aint Maud Rivers!

    S Nurse Bacons eye. ? S, by the hour.

    Nurse Bacon put o hem.

    Dont care to speak nicely? s t a suation as a nurse. See . Spoil e little hough.

    Still rubbing  , s mine. I gazed  them behind my back. I said,

    I only got e to a lady. It  lady t tricked me. I—

    Maid to a lady! t t take t plenty girls suppose t one t t s novel, t is. e so put you in tch.

    I stamped my foot.

    For fucks sake! I cried.

    t stopped t  me again about t as before—t so  t and gave a cry. Betty, t girl, began to moan.

    t tors due, any minute.

    S me stagger a straigors o t to Betty, to bully  of ears. to the old woman.

    You finisening your buttons, you creature! sake your  your moutant.  I told you a imes, you s, and c know why I warn you, we should all be glad if you did . . .

    I looked at t it open, and I  from t to

    ours—and t  meant tors were coming.

    And I t, after all, t I ster case for myself in standing and talking quietly ie, t s. I moved close to my bed, putting my knee to it to keep my leg from trembling; and I felt for my o tidy it—forgetting, for t, t titc to my  off, running. t of us stood in silence, listening out for tors footsteps. Nurse Spiller s me.

    You congue, you trollop, she said.

    e ed for about ten minutes, tir in tie and Dr Graves came o t over Dr Gravess note-book.

    Dear ladies, good morning, said Dr Cie, looking up.  first to Betty. ty? Good girl. You  your medicine, of course.

    o  and broug a piece of sugar. Sook it, and curtseyed.

    Good girl,  ell me you o tears. t is not good.   shink?

    S know, sir.

    hmm?

    ook , all time murmuring to Dr Graves, he pale old lady.

    Miss ilson, s oday? asked Dr Cie.

    None but the usual ones, she answered.

    ell,  repeat them.

    t of pure air, she said quickly.

    Yes, yes.  Dr Gravess book.

    And of wholesome food.

    You .

    ter.

    A tonic, for stered nerves. You knohis, Miss ilson.

    S. t once s: thieves!

    I jumped at tie looked up at s enougongue.  ?

    thieves! Devils!

    Your tongue, Miss ilson!  do ? hmm?

    Ser a minute:

    A curb.

    t is rig tigurned and called to o ly. Miss ilson put o o feel for a c my eye, and tered, and she seemed ashamed.

    I s any otime; but for noen more ladies like old me my   ed only until Dr Cie ructions to th and leaned and said,

    Dr Cie, sir! urned and came towards me.

    Mrs Rivers. ook my  t, not smiling. how are you?

    Sir, I said. Sir, I—

    Pulse ratly, to Dr Graves. Dr Graves made a note of it. urned back to me. You  your face, I am sorry to see.

    Nurse Spiller spoke before I could.

    Cast o tie, s

    Aion in w?

    Slept? No, I—

    Dear, dear. e cannot . I s. You s slumber.

    o Nurse Bacon. She nodded back.

    Dr Cie, I said, more loudly.

    Pulse quickening, now, he murmured.

    I pulled my en to me? You  me ake.

    Is t so? o my mouteetrid,  tell us, if tart troubling you.

    tm not staying here, I said.

    Not staying, Mrs Rivers?

    Mrs Rivers? For Gods sake, ood and saw o me, and heard me speak. I—

    So I did, old me resss  be kept quiet and free from imes it is easier—is it not?—to ask for assistance in beand you, Mrs Rivers, very well.

    I am not Maud Rivers!

    smiled.

    You are not ready to admit t you are Maud Rivers.  is quite a different to admit to it, our hen—

    You s keep me ! You keep me, whose swindling villains—

    he folded his arms. hich swindling villains, Mrs Rivers?

    I am not Maud Rivers! My name is Susan—

    Yes?

    But  time, I faltered.

    Susan Smith, I said finally.

    Susan Smit, Dr Graves? Of reet, Mayfair?

    I did not answer.

    Come, come,  on. t is all your fancy, is it not?

    It lemans fancy, I said, t devil—!

    leman, Mrs Rivers?

    Richard Rivers, I answered.

    Your husband.

    her husband.

    Ah.

    ell you! I sa t did it. You may bring Mrs Cream!

    Mrs Cream, t lengtold us, very sadly, of temper t stole upon you, in her house.

    She was speaking of Maud.

    Of course.

    S me. You bring  s iles, t Briar. Bring old Mr Lilly!

    you t be supposed to kno.  o o make ?

    Oing my ogetly.) S, to trick you! S an actress!

    An actress? Your maid?

    Maud Lilly! Dont you  me ed and tricked me—think me her, and her me!

    smiled. then he said, slowly and very easily:

    But, my dear Mrs Rivers, rouble of doing t?

    I opened my mout. For, ill supposed t if I only told rut. But trutted to steal a ladys fortune; t I  a servant, ired, and so bruised from my nig  up a clever story. No t all. Nurse Bacon rubbed ie still ch a humouring expression on his face.

    Mrs Rivers? he said.

    I dont kno last.

    Ah.

    o Dr Graves, and to move off.

    ait! ait! I cried.

    Nurse Spiller came fors enouging tors time.

    I did not look at cie turn from me, and say, t girl, , I dont care if t me in a prison for it! Better a prison, han a madhouse! I said,

    Dr Cie, sir! Dr Graves! Listen to me!

    ts enoug you knoors are? Dont you t better to do t back!

    I epped after Dr Cie and was reac.

    Please, sir, I said. Listen to me. I  been perfectly straig Susan Smiter all.

    o surned a little to me.

    Mrs Rivers, he began.

    Susan trinder, sir. Sue trinder, of— I  to say, Lant Street; t of course I must not say it, for fear it so Mr Ibbss shop. I closed my eyes and

    s . Dr Cie drew himself from my hand.

    You must not touc, erner.

    I clutc again. Only , I beg you! Only let me tell you of terrible plot I o be part of, by Ric devil!  you, sir!  all of us! olen a fortune. een thousand pounds!

    I  let go of . My voice  o  t it  trut to be deluded. I sie got out le, just like before. tes and Mr ty bellowed.

    t me back in t me s, ea.

    out, youll be sorry! I said, as t a mothe land!

    Nurse Spiller nodded. Is ss yours, and all our othen; and she laughed.

    I tea—ed bitter—must  in it. I slept t migo stupid. I let take me, stumbling, back to tie made our, and .

    You are calmer today, Mrs Rivers,  and from sleeping, it ick my tongue from my gums, to answer,

    I aint Mrs Rivers!

    And .

    My ried to to our rooms in the

    morning, and  to sit and be silent—or to read, if  books t  put up on a stool, looking over ttle magazine—no red fingers, to turn a page; and nohen chuckling.

    And t t yaook us doairs for our dinners. Anoto hey said. No dawdling.

    e  my back.

    Dont be frig turn your   be frightened, she said, of your soup.

    ter, to be nearer Nurse Bacon.

    So t our line cy or so ladies kept in t o me noer my spell in t and s of fas t some  to t teeteetaken from ts and bruises, and ots or muffs—t saying t all mad, in to me, just t t er all, as t maniacs. tty, ons. One liked to s bad s. t  and turned their laps, and mumbled, and sighed.

    I sat among te t was soup, as Miss ilson  me, nodding her

    ; but I  catc catcupid, before; no of frig of fever of friging, and tc t. But t kno of tools I suppose I mig I  any kind of tool—not so muco make one e our soup in, and so soft, t  hem.

    Dinner lasted cout men—Mr Bates and Mr ood at tables. ced up my hand and said,

    Please, sir, wors? Sir? May I see Dr Cie, sir?

    Dr Cie is busy, . he walked on.

    A lady said, You s see tors no you know?

    Sher.

    .

    From London, I said, still looking after think I come from somewhere else.

    From London! s, too: London! A!

    And t beginning. t is very ?

    I said, Out?

    ho are your people?

    ? tout man urned and oed my . ill you tell me, I said to ie? Sir? Please, sir?

    Be quiet! .

    t  be familiar, son.

    ? I said. No.

    I srees are all in leaf.

    I dont kno knohem.

    ho are your people?

    tout man urned and folded  no it droop.

    My people are thieves, I said miserably.

    Ohe ladies made faces. Queer girl. . .

    the woman beside me, however, beckoned me close.

    Your property gone? soo. But see  sring, around  , and ed stones. al, sy. Sucked toucers aken t. t his, however! Oh, no!

    I spoke to no-one, after t. ook us to a garden and made us  it for an e: te  you could see ts bars to t of t t in. trees to t park e of t. I ree in my life, but  be? If I mig to a  freedom.

    If Mrs Sucksby didnt come first.

    But till supposed, too, t I sie. I meant to s taken back to to sit, until tea-time, in a great grey room t smelt of leaking gas, t t—still tcill sing—and said not tty—did: I washed my face

    and  tand, eet my eful tartan goidy -go to tea and gave me a basin of it, I took it, but did not drink it. I tipped it on t no-one  steamed for a second, t my foot on tipped it. I looked up, and saty ching.

    Made a mess, she said loudly. She had a voice like a mans. Bad girl.

    Bad girl? said Nurse Bacon, turning round. I knoo your bed. Quick! quick! all of you. God bless me, w a life!

    So be quiet, o lie still. If , t first nigurned and trembled. Stop moving!

    S up, reading, and t of er  doo  a ligill burning, so sirred in t; and t straigo sleep and started snoring. han ever.

    Sook o bed   about her neck.

    I lay e glove in my fist, and no tip of one of its fingers to my mout ; and I bit and bit.

    But I slept, at last; and ors came back on th Nurse Spiller, I was ready.

    Mrs Rivers, ie, after ty  a minute looking over Mrs Price and Miss ilson.

    I am perfectly clear in my head, I said.

    ch. Splendid!

    Dr Cie, I beg you—!

    I dipped my  old ory, all over again— Maud Rivers, but  in errible trick;  Briar as Maud Lillys servant, so I migero be mad. aken une, all for themselves.

    t you! You dont believe me? Bring anyone from Briar! Bring t c t to them, my own!

    are you calling it, norinder?

    Susan— No! I said. Not in t book. It is Susan Smithere.

    Susan Smith, again!

    Only in t it.  you see?

    But no o look grim. I  you say too muced. e cannot . e must  all times. these fancies of yours—

    Fancies? God s t truth!

    Fancies, Mrs Rivers. If you migerrible plots? Laugolen fortunes and girls made out to be mad? tuff of lurid fiction! e  a ic one. You o overindulge yourself in literature; and have inflamed your organs of fancy.

    Inflamed? I said. Over-indulge? Literature?

    You oo much.

    I looked at  speak.

    God  last, as urned aing—give me a pencil, and Ill put you

    dos as muco put, t me dory it for a year!

    o o t o keep me from folloer. o tors backs! Dont pull from me! I so be put back in tie?

    But Dr Cie urned at t me in a ne of way,   Dr Graves. ly,

    It ent of to startle  of it.  do you say? Yes, give me a page from your note-book. Nurse Spiller, let Mrs Rivers go. Mrs Rivers— o me and gave me ttle piece of paper t Dr Graves orn from  o  and broug a pencil, and made to give me t.

    atc. Shis one!

    Very good, I see  I do not think she means us any harm. Do you, Mrs Rivers?

    No, sir, I said. I took t trembled. ched me.

    You may  better t, I think, he said.

    I moved it in my fingers, and it fell. I picked it up. atcco make anot me.

    I am not used to holding pencils, I said.

    Dr Cie nodded. I te me a line upon this paper.

    I cant, I said.

    Of course you can. Sit neatly on t t is  to e, is it not? You kno is. Noe me your name. You can do t, at least. You old us so. Go on.

    I ated, te it. tore beneathe lead. Dr

    Cie cook t from me and s to Dr Graves. they frowned.

    You ten Susan, said Dr Cie. ?

    It is my name.

    You ten badly. Did you do so on purpose? e me out a line, as I requested first.

    I cant. I cant!

    Yes, you can. rite a single e me te: speckle.

    I shook my head.

    Come, come,  difficult. And you kno letter of it,  already.

    Again, I ated. And tcilted to see me do it—I e an S. t tters. t on and on, and gree.

    You still press ie said.

    Do I?

    You knoters are muddled, and very ill-formed.  letter is t is one of your oo understand t your uncle—a scenance ant?

    . I quivered rigies gaze and said, as steadily as I could:

    I  an uncle to my name. You mean old Mr Lilly. I dare say es neatly enoug you see, I aint her.

    apped at his chin.

    For you, rinder.

    I quivered again. Sir, I am!

    . I t, ts it! and almost surned to Dr Graves and shook his head.

    Quite complete,  it? I dont believe I ever saending even to tor faculties. Its t study on this,

    until our course of treatment is decided. Mrs Rivers, my pencil if you please. Ladies, good-day.

    urned, and left us. Dr Graves and Nurse Spiller   turn t  as if sruck me or knocked me do crying. Sut—but too used to tears in t  o see a ting at dinner, o  tut turned into a yas, so me or to all of us. orments, ard on. orments, ty, be a good girl to your poor old nurse. Fetc my ointment, will you?

    Sill  of tty took it to t out a jar of grease. te and ty sat, took a , and began to  into Nurse Bacons sh.

    t finds tty chuckled.

    I turned my o my pilloty a demon at  cil I could cry no more.

    And t beside my bed, and tle.

    Come, my dear. You must not give in to tears.

    It  out o me. I sa, and flinched.

    A  it. I am not quite in my rigo t,  a ches. hush!

    Saken a  I s soft; and tness of it, and t s piece of kindness t anyone o to cry again. Nurse Bacon looked over. Ive got my eye on you, so me. Dont t. ttled back in ty still o her fingers.

    I said quietly,

    You mustnt t home.

    I am sure you do not, answered Miss ilson.

    Im only so frighey say I am mad.

    You must keep your spirit. t so  nor is it perfectly kind. t  breatall. t t pap!—I so see it served to a gardeners boy.

    her voice had risen. Nurse Bacon looked over again, and curled her lip.

    I so see you blusom! she said.

    Miss ilson worked h and looked embarrassed.

    A reference, so me, to my pallor. ill you believe me if I tell you, tance in ter ed to c, !

    S so mad, my  quite sank.

    tering hand had fallen.

    I believe—let me see—tle of the passing seasons ... I should say, many years.

    ty, said Nurse Bacon, still listening. For you e an old ?— een years, tumn.—Aty, there! Good girl.

    S out h, and her eyes closed. I

    t in y years!—and t must have shown on my face, for Miss ilson said,

    You must not tay so long as t. Mrs Price comes, every year; but  of . It  men  ers. ongue— You understand.

    t  me ends to be my husband.

    t is  is t of all.

    I touc, t —so   me.

    You believe it, I said. I looked at Nurse Bacon; but she had heard me and opened her eyes.

    Dont make anyt, sable voice. Miss ilson believes all sorts of nonsense. Only ask  creatures live in the moon.

    Curse you! said Miss ilson. I told you t as a confidence!— You may see, Mrs Rivers, o diminisanding.—Does my broto abuse me? thieves! Devils!

    Nurse Bacon made a so fists; and Miss ilson gre again. I said, after a moment,

    You may t you like about t you? But ie s out, in time.

    I  you kno is your  sign you out.

    I stared at  Nurse Bacon. Is t true? I asked. Nurse Bacon nodded. I began to  ser never, never will!

    Miss ilson s perhaps he

    ill visit, and take a c? t let us see our vis-tors, you kno is the law.

    I wiped my face.  come, I said. , if he did, I would kill him!

    S  of fear. You must not say suc be good. Dont you kno taking you, of binding you— t ter—

    ater, murmured Mrs Price, in a shuddering way.

    ts enoug—s me—stop stirring up the ladies.

    And again, s.

    So t. Betty e or t t back to   out a murmur or a moan from be door t of ragged s of Mr Ibbss sister. I t of all my . I began, again, to s. I felt suddenly I t feel, o my feet and o ther, and back.

    If only t see out. And t the Borough!

    ill you sit down? said Nurse Bacon.

    t t get up from o ans. It ed until togetole back to Miss ilson. Desperation o make me sly.

    Listen to me, I said quietly. I must get out of  kno? Ill pay you fork, I swear.

    S me, and tone, I  suppose t I  up to speak in whispers?

    Nurse Bacon looked round and stared.

    You, Maud, s are you doing now?

    ty, in her gruff voice.

    ! Get back to your bed and leave Miss ilson alone. Cant I turn my back a minute  you start up trying to tamper he ladies?

    I supposed srying to escape. I  back to my bed. Sood at to y  I  me, before.

    I ill too ignorant to knoy look meant. God o find out, soon enough.