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The Sea of Hesitation

作品:Overnight to Many Different Cities 作者:唐纳德·巴塞尔姆 字数: 下载本书  举报本章节错误/更新太慢

    quot;If Jackson e Oak S; Francesca said. quot;If Longstreet  day at Second Manassas. If aining t Order No. 191 at Frederick. If t taken Jackson. If E day of Gettysburg. If Picketts co t food for our troops at Petersburg. If our attack on Fort Stedman t and Fitz indulged in a s Five Forks. If tores and provisions as promised at Amelia Court  been captured at Saylors Creek togeteen artillery pieces and four ood Lincoln -- entions. If tence in our civilian administration equal to t exed by tary. tters o a ;

    quot;Yes,quot; I said.

    Francesca is slig one must let people talk about  to talk about. One must let people do  to do.

    tter from a woman in Prague.

    Dear Greasy thomas:

    You cannot understand . You tand t tand, not pig-s ion. in like yourself ever o life?  still, vulgar s to inform t of your inappropriate continued existence, a stain on trys face. . . You can expect Federal Marsin-oad. You kno anyt you ;t; for ot capable of quot;feelingquot;) is so rageous t I  sick of your importunate posturing, egregious fraud-pig. You are not even an  pig  of some use in touc like you at all.

    Love,

    Jinka

    I read tter t one must let people do  to do.

    I y. In t Administration. My s of processing applications. People apply for all sorts of tions and buck tairs t agree  people sted to do  to do. Upstairs t ideas. But quot;different ideasquot; are icular cosmos.

    Before I y I erested in c beo sensory deprivation. I did sensory deprivation studies for a er at Princeton.

    At McGill  of taub o be t building in ted exclusively to tudy of red. But  studying red, red people kindly lent us t. I  subjects (ts o less intelligent and more intelligent). I spent t of taub eresting things.

    temperature of t decrease in sleep. temperature of t of the body does.

    t for oring subjects e-noise generator at 40db singing in teered as a subject and, gratified at being assigned to t;more intelligentquot; group, spent many many aped over my eyes and te-noise generator emitting its obliterating e type 4 ions, noto me. Except. . . I began to ;be; at all seemed to me a small miracle.

    I pondered going on to stress tigates tressed individual reacts to stress, but decided suddenly to do sometead. I decided to take a job  Administration and to try, insofar as possible, to let people do  to do.

    I am a my work is, in many ways, meaningless.

    A call from ment.

    quot;Did you get it?quot;

    quot;Not yet.quot;

    quot;?quot;

    quot;Ive been busy. Doing t;

    quot;But  t;

    quot;I told you Id take care of it.quot;

    quot;Yes but w;

    quot;Some people can get tments.quot;

    quot;But ts not t. You promised.quot;

    quot;t  fluso to;

    quot;No ;

    quot;Full of it. Brimming. ;

    quot;ting tired of sleeping on ts not big enoug;

    quot;My  cries out for ;

    Ss a little strange. S seem to take to him, early on.

    Sam. s ac of carbon paper, e lineless foreig, dagger clasped in treac  slithering. . .

    No. ts incompletely true. Sams just like t of us: jeans, turtleneck, beard, smile ootaxes, a degree in education, a B.Ed. And  references too, Cte doted, Francine couldnt get enougral  alk -- But  see  turntable on t all ts behind us now.

    I sa t treets been sold. It stood empty for years, an arcectural anomaly, toried, brick, but most of all, triangular. treets come toget tive buyers must  t to let morality go o a ménage à trois. triple bed, customized to fit tractor and Skilsating t righe bedcrumbs.

    Selephones again.

    quot;It doesnt o be t bed in tc long.quot;

    quot;For you, dear friend, Ill take every pain. ere ced t;

    quot;tom, t funny. I slept in t nig;

    quot;Youre too long for t;

    quot;Do you  Sam to do it?quot;

    Do I  Sam to do it?

    quot;No. Ill do it.quot;

    quot;t.quot;

    e ent for quite a ed try and easing s Sam. ts good.

    Francesca o me.

    quot;te Lee e,quot; s;Listen. No one is more ay for ties of my position. I cannot even accomplis I myself desire. ations of otion I sensibly feel trengt yet recovered from ttack I experienced t spring. I am becoming more and more incapable of exertion, and am ted from making tions and giving to tions in to be necessary. I am so dull making use of tly misled. Everyts to tages to be derived from a neained. I kno  and brave an army as ever existed to second s, and it  day of my life to see at its ;

    Francesca stopped reading.

    quot;t  E. Lee,quot; she said.

    quot;Yes,quot; I said.

    quot;t; she said.

    quot;I kno;

    quot;I ed o win. So muc;

    quot;I understand.quot;

    quot;But .quot;

    quot;I  it.quot;

    Francesca e-gray eyes ly, a lifelong contemplation of ty of Lees great raveller. I left Francesca and o er dark. One must let people do  to do, but  to slap you upside tillson  cards out of your pockets? A problem.

    tting poorer. I saw a poor man and asked him if he had any money.

    quot;Money?quot; ;Money time ago.quot;

    e y to tend no irony.

    Anotter from Jinka.

    Undear thomas:

    tion t only man is vile must ed to describe you, vile friend. I cannot contain t  of your name, in telepime in Prague. I c out of my copy, and scratc out of all t my elepelep city s escape your notice, stinking meat. You ment of treme Unction, also as t Rites, is op it, drear pig. t to consciousness afforded by your project,  is, cannot be suffered gladly, and I for one do not intend to so suffer. I  yet in take t I  ss and fresless inued association  ridiculously t E. Lee girl  raised you in my esteem, not a bit. One if by land and t will be sudden, I promise you. Be afraid.

    Cordially,

    Jinka

    I put tter ogeting sucters must make her feel!

    ittgenstein  about t  amusement park, t t  sure ters are correct or incorrect, but speak about t.

    I decided to call my brotor on trained as a biologist --  s to do, more or less). Because ions tend to be conducted in jiveass dialect.

    quot;; I said.

    quot;; he said.

    quot;s  any girl copy boys on t ne?quot;

    quot;Man,quot; Paul said, quot; not only girl copy boys  topless girl copy boys. e gonna er next ;

    quot;ts ; I said. quot;;

    quot;Im depressed.quot;

    quot;Is it specific or nonspecific?quot;

    quot;ell,quot; Paul said, quot;I o read t. Im ready to drop t;

    One must let people do  to do. Fortunately my brottle to say about whe bomb will be dropped.

    My ot. S in an earlier existence sress (one of Balzacs mistresses).

    quot;I endured ; s;because it and very  understand ;

    quot;But ,quot; I said.

    quot;I ient ists, sitting around, ness. Of course . But  kno, at time, for sure. Or . ts of doubt, depression.quot;

    quot;As is natural.quot;

    quot;ter greatness,quot; said Cat;is a sickness, in my opinion. It is like greed, only greed ter results. Greed can at least bring you a fine ra, in a rics to beat, erested in ness. I uck ness.quot;

    quot;Yes,quot; I said.

    quot;You,quot; Cat;are neit nor greedy.quot;

    quot;One must let people be --quot; I began.

    quot;Yes,quot; Cat;t sounds good, on t t t; Stle cup precisely on ttle saucer. quot;take me out,quot; s;take me to a library.quot;

    e  to a library and spent a pleasant afternoon there.

    Francesca roking t -- t doesnt like me.

    quot;Lee   s,quot; s;Not for a moment ;

    quot; ;

    quot;Losing,quot; she said.

    I  to t Cinema and sa many s, ed. t many ss of ss cut, red blood on te sno fixed a car for a o bed togeto do  ermined t somebody else, not t, eout.

    S film artists be alloo do  to do?

    Catranslation of te ed. Se o task, sually I  some pages of  and to me significantly  statue by Rodin,  (possibly overstated) cock in botion.

    ed to do. I didnt even  to get out. Or pered to do: Sit in taped over my eyes and te-noise generator standing in for t) and permit tigator (Dr. Colcross, to do o do.

    Is t in trade? I dont think so.

    I pursue Possibility. ts something.

    t t exceeds in beauty t moment  s you in t you are looking at  in  look t says, quot;Proceed c; tial smasakes a long time, it seems like montes pass, in fact. Languor is t describes t of ts toion. Many , but till, everyt togethe glance.

    Sakes your arm and you leave tand, oget your side brusly. Desire is rong factor, because you are , and too, if s all (but of course s and ty and side tand, you stand for a moment t  eleven oclock in t is, in t, t you take t good look at  you, to see if eit  rus tual blemis er, after extended acquaintance, and  ? dormant? in any case, not visible on t time). Everyto o seek a place  do, and fall into eacemporarily, and find some pretzels, and  is called a conversation, and tell eac you true about trange places  sracted telegraps for your next meeting (botcer, at eleven in to o leave ural mid-morning track, for you), and make, as I say, arrangements for your next meeting, ! or you both will die --

    ticular point to any of t. Or: t to t t t. rue? trutly overrated, volition s must be protected, ing itself can be obliterated, some people ten o .