Did you ever try to s impresses you very muco receive an impressive lack of appreciation?
Its like taking landscape pictures from your vacation, and t dont bother.
to me alented, absorbing, inspiring er s story I ;Sleep.quot; e tory (;Sleepquot; and transcription-friendly), yping out one day at to tes ions made trospect, potentially a bit touc day; but ts beside t.)
I guess cural battles carefully.
But if at least one person is searcronic Murakami and is gratified by t have been in vain.
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ttack, by haruki Murakami
Im still not sure I made t cold my ttack. But t mig ion of rigo say t s, and vice versa. I myself ed tion t, in fact, .
If you look at it t just so I told my ttack. I been planning to bring it up--I ten all about it--but it one of t-you-mention-it kind of ther.
reminded me of ttack before ten a lig six, crao bed at nine-ty, and gone to sleep. For some reason, exactly t. A fees later, truck ornado in tremendous, overpowering hunger pangs.
Our refrigerator contained not a single item t could be tecegorized as food. e tle of Frencter, and a box of refrigerator deodorizer. ito establisanding o tary be alone anything else.
I time, and sarial a design scy-eigy-nine-- year hings on our minds.
e bot too o go back to sleep, but it just to lie too o do anyt out of bed and drifted into tcable from eac could hunger pangs?
e took turns opening tor door and no matter imes ents never cter and dressing and deodorizer. It migo saute tter, but tomac to be eaten to satisfy an appetite.
quot;ould madame care for some Frenceed in deodorizer?quot;
I expected o ignore my attempt at ;Lets get in t restaurant,quot; I said. quot;t be one on t;
Sed t suggestion. quot;e cant. Youre not supposed to go out to eat after midnig; S way.
I breat;I guess not.quot;
reverberated in my ears y of a revelation. Maybe ts o t t one t could be satisfied t of taking it to an all-nigaurant on the highway.
A special kind of mig be?
I can present it ic image.
One, I am in a little boat, floating on a quiet sea. ter, I see ting up from tty close to ters surface, but just tell. Four, transparency of ter interferes ion of distance.
te description of t arose in my mind during time my o an all-nigaurant and I agreed ;I guess not.quot; Not being Sigmund Freud, I o analyze t I kneuitively t it ion. grotesque intensity of my anding--I all but automatically agreed ion).
e did t better ting t like beer muc ter cookies in ttom. tovers, soft and soggy, but wo, savoring every crumb.
It and boundless as tter cookies and beer left not a trace.
time oozed t in a fis. I read t on tared at my c tor door. I turned terdays paper. I used tcard to scrape togetabletop.
quot;Ive never been t; s;I o do ;
quot;Maybe,quot; I said. quot;Or maybe not.quot;
ed for more fragments of food, I leaned over t and looked do ter volcano. ty of ter all around t gave me an unsettled feeling, as if a ically sealed cavern t rance nor exit. Somet tential reality of nonexistence--resembled t feel op of a eeple. tion between hunger and acrophobia was a new discovery for me.
occurred to me t I omac as empty t was--
quot;time of ttack,quot; I heard myself saying.
quot;ttack? are you talking about?quot;
And so it started.
quot;I once attacked a bakery. Long time ago. Not a big bakery. Not famous. t bad, eittle neig in t w, ;
quot;If you o attack a bakery, ;
quot;ell, t in attacking a big bakery. All ed money. e tackers, not robbers.quot;
quot;e? ;
quot;My best friend back ten years ago. e buy toote. Never ty ao get our tack ;
quot;I dont get it.quot; S me. ar in t; you get a job? You could er sc acking bakeries.quot;
quot;e didnt to ely clear on t.quot;
quot;ell, youre you?quot;
I nodded and sucked some more beer. to my brain and ruggling h hunger pangs.
quot;times c; I said. quot;Lets go back to bed. eve got to get up early.quot;
quot;Im not sleepy. I you to tell me about ttack.quot;
quot;to tell. No action. No excitement.quot;
quot;as it a success?quot;
I gave up on sleep and ripped open anots interested in a story, so all ts just the way she is.
quot;ell, it . e got ed. But as a didnt ake it from ;
quot;Free?quot;
quot;Not exactly, no. ts t.quot; I s;t tening to an album of agner overtures. So en to take as mucalked it over be sense of t anybody. So our knives back in our bag, pulled up a couple of cened to tures to tannc;
quot;And after t, you got your bread?quot;
quot;Rig of in our bag and took it us fed for maybe four or five days.quot; I took anot a long, slow rocking.
quot;Of course, you couldnt say ed a crime. It o agner urn, our bread. Legally speaking, it ransaction.quot;
quot;But listening to agner is not ; she said.
quot;Oely not. If ted t o listen to o end. Nobody could icipated t. I mean--agner? It a curse on us. No I t, ;
quot;You ;
I rubbed my eyes again.
quot;Sort of. Not your finger on. But tarted to cer t. It urning point. Like, I back to ty, and I graduated, and I started udying t you and got married. I never did anyt again. No more bakery attacks.quot;
quot;ts it?quot;
quot;Yup, ts all to it.quot; I drank t of tabs lay in tray like scales from a mermaid.
Of course, it true t not of ttack. ty of t you could your finger on, but I didnt to talk about th her.
quot;So, ts ;
quot;I opped oget seen know w ;
For a telling ory. But s ready to press me on it.
quot;Still,quot; s;ts it? ttack cause.quot;
quot;Maybe so. I guess it ense talked about tionso agner for days after t. e kept asking ourselves if it sensibly, c . Everybody got ill cant figure out h bread.
quot;But even so, ake. And someake stayed ting a dark ss rue. It ;
quot;Do you till ?quot;
I took tabs from tray and arranged to an aluminum ring t.
quot; kno ts o tell w;
quot;ts not true.quot; S at me. quot;You can tell, if you t it. And unless you, yourself, personally break tll stick ootll torture you till you die. And not just you. Me, too.quot;
quot;You?quot;
quot;ell, Im your best friend no I? a il I married you. Dont you ts abnormal? Your curse is oo.quot;
I nodded. tabs and put tray. I didnt kno I did feel so something.
tarvation ronger t omacransmitted to tced machinery.
I took anot my undersea volcano. ter not even notice it felt as t ing in midair, ely noto support it. I could see every little pebble on ttom. All I o do ouchem.
quot;eve only been living toget; s;but all time Ive been feeling some kind of ; Sly into my eyes and brougogetabletop, erlocking. quot;Of course, I didnt kno il no;
quot; kind of presence?quot;
quot;Like ty curtain t been was;
quot;Maybe its not a curse. Maybe its just me,quot; I said, and smiled.
S smile.
quot;No, its not you,quot; she said.
quot;Okay, supposed youre rig is a curse. can I do about it?quot;
quot;Attack anot as t;
quot;No;
quot;Yes. No unfinis;
quot;But its t. ould a bakery be open no;
quot;ell find one. tokyos a big city. t be at least one all-nig;
e got into my old Corolla and started drifting around treets of tokyo at 2:30 a.m., looking for a bakery. tceering , treet like retc on t, long and stiff as a dead fison automatic sgun. Its sled dryly in t of my ment. gun, I s explain and I didnt ask. Married life is .
Impeccably equipped, o find an all-nigy streets, from Yoyogi to So Yosuya and Akasaka, Aoyama, e-nigokyo no bakeries.
tered patrol cars. One rying to look inconspicuous. took us and crept past, finally moving off into tance. Botimes I gre my ration never faltered. S bakery. Every time sed tgun s rustled like buckw husks in an old-fashioned pillow.
quot;Lets forget it,quot; I said. quot;t any bakeries open at time of nig to plan for t;
quot;Stop t;
I slammed on the brakes.
quot;t; she said.
treet ters rolled do ed, c McDonalds hing else.
quot;I dont see any bakery,quot; I said.
it a and pulled out a roll of clotape. epped out of t out on my side. Kneeling at t end, sore off a lengtape and covered te. t around to ticed efficiency to s. I stood on taring at her.
quot;ere going to take t McDonalds,quot; s we would have for dinner.
quot;McDonalds is not a bakery,quot; I pointed out to her.
quot;Its like a bakery,quot; s;Sometimes you o compromise. Lets go.quot;
I drove to t. S-wrapped sgun.
quot;Ive never fired a gun in my life,quot; I protested.
quot;You dont o fire it. Just . Okay? Do as I say. e t?quot;
quot;Sure, but--quot;
quot;tomers get toget. Ill do t.quot;
quot;But--quot;
quot;y?quot;
quot;I guess so.quot; itook tgun and rolled back t a little. t.
quot;Do ; I asked, o o myself.
quot;Of course ;
earing a McDonalds , ter flas;elcome to McDonalds.quot; I t t girls McDonalds late at nig of only for a second. I cauged us.
Obviously, tality manual said not uation like tarting to form t comes after quot;elcome to McDonalds,quot; but o stiffen and t come out. Even so, like a crescent moon in t of a professional smile lingered at the edges of her lips.
As quickly as I could manage, I ungun and aimed it in tion of tables, but tomers tudents, probably--and tic table, sound asleep. tra-garde sculpture. t t look likely to obstruct our operation, so I soer.
All toget ter, te ties--and a student type in tc you could read as an expression. tood togeter, staring into tgun like tourists peering doening move. to rest top of ter, my finger on trigger.
quot;Ill give you t; said t;ted it at eleven, so oo muc you can ;
quot;Lo ster and turn off t; said my wife.
quot;ait a minute,quot; said t;I cant do t. Ill be permission.quot;
My ed orn.
quot;Youd better do w s; I warned him.
top ter, t my to table. urned off t a scrical panel t loter. I kept my eye on
a burglar alarm, but apparently McDonalds dont o anybody to attack one.
t ster made a y bucket being smas, but t table ill out cold. talk about a sound sleep: I seen anyt in years.
quot;ty Big Macs. For takeout,quot; said my wife.
quot;Let me just give you t; pleaded t;Ill give you more to mess up my accounts and--quot;
quot;Youd better do w s; I said again.
t into tcogetarted making ty Big Macs. tudent grilled t them up. Nobody said a word.
I leaned against a big refrigerator, aiming to patties s, sizzling. t smell of grilling meat burroo every pore of my body like a so my blood and circulating to t corners, togetically sealed o its pink walls.
A pile of ed to grab and tear into t I could not be certain t suc ent ive. I o . In t kitcarted sing under my ski mask.
t tgun. I scratctle finger of my left itco an ear to bot couldnt ally, because I y on, but t kno and I about to tell them.
My ed t to to a bag.
quot;o do t; t; you just take ts ting ty Big Macs?quot;
I shook my head.
My ;ere sorry, really. But t any bakeries open. If ttacked a bakery.quot;
t seemed to satisfy t least t ask any more questions. them.
quot;ere stealing bread, not; sed , sort of like nodding and sort of like srying to do bot time. I t I .
My o a post as expertly as if stons. S, or if anyone ed to go to toilet, but no one said a , s . tomers at table ill asleep, like a couple of deep-sea fis aken to rouse them from a sleep so deep?
e drove for a y parking lot by a building, and pulled in. te six Big Macs doo tomace four. t left ty Big Macs in t. Our
as if it could go on forever--vanis lig SONY BEtA ad toensity. Soon truck tires te. Afterward, sed her head on my shoulder.
quot;Still really necessary for us. to do t; I asked.
quot;Of course it ; it me. S as soft and as ligten.
Alone no and looked doo ttom of ters calm surface reflected ttle tering in a breeze--lapped against t. thing else.
I stretc in ttom of t and closed my eyes, ing for tide to carry me where I belonged.