KAMALA

    Dedicated to il, my cousin in Japan

    Siddep of ransformed, and  s and setting over tant beacs palm-trees. At nigars in tions and t of ting like a boat in trees, stars, animals, clouds, rainboening deant  mountains imes all of to Sidding, deceptive veil before rust, destined to be penetrated and destroyed by t, since it  tial existence, since t noayed on t to be at  searcrue essence, did not aim at a iful  it t searciful ars, beautiful ream and t and t and tle, tterfly. Beautiful and lovely it o o  distrust. Differently t tly t cooled ly tream and tern, tasted. S  ts, every ly areasures, full of joy. Sidd, ing ing for its dinner; propelling t, in fear,  of ter; t of strengt of ty eddies of ter, uously ing.

    All of ted, and  seen it;  been . No. Ligars and moon ran t.

    On tavana, teacion ed one. Again o ted one, every onis  t t really kno at time.  o Gotama: reasure and secret  teac t teacenment--it  to experience, rue t ime t man, in its essence bearing ternal ceristics as Bra never, ed to capture it in t of t. itely not being t tacle of t also  t, not tional mind, not t ty to drao develop previous ts in to ne ill on ts and learned knotened on ts as ty timate meaning ened to, boto be played o be scorned nor overestimated, from bot voices of t truto be attentively perceived. ed to strive for not for o strive for, d  t time, in t doree,   ,  under tree, and igation, offerings, ablutions, nor prayer, neito obey like t to an external command, only to to be ready like thing else was necessary.

    In t raanding in front of ic. Sad o  and kissed   Govinda any more, but a  popped out of t rongly tasted t. It tasted of , of animal and flo, of every joyful desire. It intoxicated , and in t, a dark call of an oly.

    , to get  , ter s of the morning.

    quot;tiful river,quot; o his companion.

    quot;Yes,quot; said t;a very beautiful river, I love it more ten I ened to it, often I o its eyes, and always I . Muc;

    quot;I tor,quot; spoke Sidd;I  I could give you for your ality, my dear, and also no payment for your  a ;

    quot;I did see it,quot; spoke t;and I  expected any payment from you and no gift s to bear. You  anotime.quot;

    quot;Do you t; asked Siddha amusedly.

    quot;Surely. too, I oo, Samana,  your friendse me, ;

    Smiling, ted. Smiling, Sidd t;;  ;all I meet on my pat to receive to be friends, like to obey, ttle. Like c;

    At about noon,  of ttages, c in treet, led, but timidly fled from tream, and by tream, a young o  is tom among travellers, and asked ill o go to reacy. t up and came to ifully  mouter en already, and rue t t alone in t at nig alloo alking, s  foot on  one and made a movement as a o initiate t kind of sexual pleasure extbooks call quot;climbing a treequot;. Sidd ing up, and since in t o tly doo t. Looking up,  and racted pupils, begging h desire.

    Sidd desire and felt ty moving; but since oucated for a moment,  t. Politely, ted urned a steps into the bamboo-wood.

    On ty before t to be among people. For a long time, s, and tra t nig roof for a long time he has had over his head.

    Before ty, in a beautifully fenced grove, traveller came across a small group of servants, bots. In t, carried by four servants in an ornamental sedan-c a ress, on red pillo trance to tcs, ts, sa. Under black o to face, a brigended and painted in a  and call neck rising from a green and golden garment, resting fair s over ts.

    Siddiful s rejoiced. raig t in t eyes  fragrant,  knoiful  and disappeared into t as well.

    tering ty, Sidd, antly felt drao t  about it, and only norance, rustful, ing.

    I am still a Samana, , I am still an ascetic and beggar. I must not remain like t be able to enter this. And he laughed.

    t person old t tesan, and t, aside from ty.

    tered ty. Now he had a goal.

    Pursuing y to suck ed treets, stood still on ted on tairs of stone by tant,  stories of Viss by t t, and early in t customers came into ant s  it  to take he river.

    e in ternoon, beautiful Kamala approacanding at trance, made a boesans greeting. But t servant rain ioned to o inform ress t a young Brao talk to er a urned, asked ing, to folloo a pavilion, w h her.

    quot;erent you already standing out terday, greeting me?quot; asked Kamala.

    quot;Its true t Ive already seen and greeted you yesterday.quot;

    quot;But didnt you yesterday wear a beard, and long  in your ;

    quot;You  o become a Samana, and  pato ty, and t one I met, even before I ered ty, o say to you, o urned to t to turn my eyes to tiful ;

    Kamala smiled and played ;And only to tell me to me?quot;

    quot;to tell you to tiful. And if it doesnt displease you, Kamala, I o ask you to be my friend and teac of t art  degree.quot;

    At this, Kamala laughed aloud.

    quot;Never before to me, my friend, t a Samana from t came to me and ed to learn from me! Never before to me, t a Samana came to me orn loin-cloto me, and t tiful cloto me.quot;

    Quot;Already I am starting to learn from you. Even yesterday, I le  rifles, and  I reac goal, erday: to be your friend and to learn t Ill learn quickly, Kamala, I  youre supposed to teacs get to it: You arent satisfied   clot s money?quot;

    Laug;No, my dear,  satisfy me yet. Clot  ty clotty ss of money in s for Kamala. Do you kno no? Did you mark my ;

    quot;Yes, I ; Sidd; mark able matc tell me, beautiful Kamala, arent you at all afraid of t, ;

    quot;ever for supid Samana from t,  ;

    quot;Orong, t afraid of anytiful girl.  you.quot;

    quot;No, Samana, I am not afraid of t come and grab eal ion, and ? No, for tever o give and to  is, precisely like t is also iful and red is Kamalas mout just try to kiss it against Kamalas  obtain a single drop of sness from it,  tained by begging, buying, receiving it as a gift, finding it in treet, but it cannot be stolen. In t y, if a pretty young man like you  to tackle it in suc;

    Sidd;It y, Kamala, you are so rig y. No, I s lose a single drop of sness from your mout is settled: Siddurn, once  ill lacks: clot speak, lovely Kamala, couldnt you still give me one small advice?quot;

    quot;An advice? ?  like to give an advice to a poor, ignorant Samana, ;

    quot;Dear Kamala, to, t Ill find t quickly?quot;

    quot;Friend, many o kno do urn. to obtain money.  migo do?quot;

    quot;I can t. I can fast.quot;

    quot;Not;

    quot;Not yes, I can also e poetry. ould you like to give me a kiss for a poem?quot;

    quot;I o, if Ill like your poem.  s title?quot;

    Sidder  about it for a moment, these verses:

    Into epped tty Kamala, At trance stood tuss blossom, Bo man, and smiling Kamala t to pretty Kamala.

    Kamala loudly clapped  ts clanged.

    quot;Beautiful are your verses, oruly, Im losing not;

    Silted  ouc moutime, Kamala kissed onis Sidd augrolled ed er t one to be a long, a ested sequence of kisses, everyone different from till to receive. Breatanding onis tself before his eyes.

    quot;Very beautiful are your verses,quot; exclaimed Kamala, quot;if I   for you to earn t of money, if you  to be Kamalas friend.quot;

    quot;to kiss, Kamala!quot; stammered Siddha.

    quot;Yes, to do, t lack clots, and all beautiful t  you able to do anyt ting, making poetry?quot;

    quot;I also kno; said Sidd;but I do not  to sing t I do not  to speak tures--quot;

    quot;Stop,quot; Kamala interrupted ;Youre able to read? And e?quot;

    quot;Certainly, I can do t;

    quot;Most people cant. I also cant do it. It is very good t youre able to read and e, very good. You ill find use for t;

    In t, a maid came running in and wo resss ear.

    quot;tor for me,quot; exclaimed Kamala. quot; yourself a;

    But to to give te upper garments. it fully understanding o a garden- pats as a gift, led into tly admoniso get  of t being seen.

    Contently, old. Being accustomed to t, o get out of t making a sound. Contently, urned to ty, carrying ts under  travellers stay, ioned  words  a word ed a piece of rice-cake. Peromorrow, , I will ask no one for food any more.

    Suddenly, pride flared up in  o o beg. o a dog and remained  food.

    quot;Simple is t; t Sidd;It presents no difficulties. Everyt, toilsome, and ultimately ill a Samana. No lessons in kissing, ;

    y long before, turned up the following day.

    quot;t ; s to ;ting you at Kamasy. If  you into , broe to be too modest! I do not  you to become , you s be satisfied arting to get old and lazy. If rust you .quot;

    Sidd t  eaten anyterday and today, s for bread and fruits and treated o it.

    quot;Youve been lucky,quot; sed, quot;Im opening one door after anot;

    Sidd;Yesterday, I told you I kneo , and to fast, but you t t it is useful for many t tupid Samanas are learning and able to do many pretty t, erday, I ill a serday I  and  upon.quot;

    quot;ell yes,quot; sted. quot;But  ;

    quot;Dear Kamala,quot; said Siddraigo , quot;o your grove, I did t step. It ion to learn love from t beautiful  moment on  I  out. I kne you  glance at trance of t.quot;

    quot;But ;

    quot;You er, it est course to ttom of ter. t is  er,  doing anyt stirring; s tracts  let anyter  oppose t Sidd fools call magic and of ed by means of ted by daemons, to to , if o fast.quot;

    Kamala listened to he look from his eyes.

    quot;Per is so,quot; sly, quot;as you say, friend. But per is also like t Sidd  tune is coming towards ;

    it;I  seac my glance s alune so me out of your direction!quot;

    IthE ChILDLIKE PEOPLE

    Sidd to Kamas, ed into a rics led s into a ced ter of the house.

    Kamasered, a sly, smootelligent, cautious eyes, ely, t and t greeted one another.

    quot;I old,quot; t began, quot;t you  you seek to be in t. Migitute, Bra you seek to serve?quot;

    quot;No,quot; said Sidd;I  become destitute and itute. You s Im coming from time.quot;

    quot;If youre coming from t destitute? Arent tirely  possessions?quot;

    quot;I am  possessions,quot; said Sidd;if t you mean. Surely, I am  possessions. But I am so voluntarily, and t destitute.quot;

    quot;But o live of, being  possessions?quot;

    quot;I  t of t, sir. For more t possessions, and  about of w I s;

    quot;So youve lived of t;

    quot;Presumable t is. After all, a merc also lives of ;

    quot;ell said. But  take anyturn.quot;

    quot;So it seems to be indeed. Everyone takes, everyone gives, suc;

    quot;But if you dont mind me asking: being  possessions, o give?quot;

    quot;Everyone gives  gives merceaceac;

    quot;Yes indeed. And  no to give?  is it t youve learned, o do?quot;

    quot;I can t. I can fast.quot;

    quot;ts everyt;

    quot;I believe, ts everyt;

    quot;And ? For example, ting--  good for?quot;

    quot;It is very good, sir. o eat, fasting is test t learned to fast, o accept any kind of service before t may be o do so. But like t calmly, ience, ime o besiege  it. t fasting is good for.quot;

    quot;Youre rig for a moment.quot;

    Kamas turned o  ;

    Sidd tract ten doo read out its contents.

    quot;Excellent,quot; said Kamas;And e somet;

    e and returned the paper.

    Kamas;riting is good, tter. Being smart is good, being patient is better.quot;

    quot;It is excellent o e,quot; t praised ;Many a till o discuss oday, Im asking you to be my guest and to live in t;

    Sidded, and lived in t to  prepared a batiful meal  Sidde once a day, and ate neit nor did old  rade, sorage-rooms, sions. Sidd to kno and spoke little. And t to t, forced o treat ed en  Sidd ried o learn precisely, but tents of ouc.

    in Kamas in  daily, at ted by ed beautiful Kamala, ty clot s as ender, supple ill a boy and endency to plunge blindly and insatiably into lust like into a bottomless pit, augarting  t sc  be be taken  giving pleasure, and t every gesture, every caress, every touc of t ,  it and unleas. Saug lovers must not part from one anoter celebrating love,  one admiring t being just as defeated as torious, so t art feeling fed up or bored and get t evil feeling of  iful and smart artist, became udent,  life, nit he business of Kamaswami.

    t passed to duties of ing important letters and contracts on to  into t of discussing all important affairs  Siddtle about rice and  t ed in a fortunate manner, and t Sidd, in calmness and equanimity, and in t of listening and deeply understanding previously unkno;t; o a friend, quot;is no proper merc and s our business. But  mysterious quality of to  business-affairs, t of  by a loss.quot;

    t: quot;Give s for you a ts, but let  of t;

    Kamas Siddtle about t, ed it y;  turned out badly!quot;

    It seemed indeed, as if  care about t one time, ravelled to a village to buy a large  of rice t o anot. Nevertayed for several days in t village, treated to tion of a urned extremely satisfied from rip. Kamasurned back rig ed time and money. Sidd;Stop scolding, dear friend! Not me bear t loss. I am very satisfied rip. I ten to kno;

    quot;ts all very nice,quot; exclaimed Kamasly, quot;but in fact, you are a merc after all, one ougo t you ravelled for your amusement?quot;

    quot;Surely,quot; Sidd;surely I ravelled for my amusement. For en to kno, I ravelled back, being annoyed and in a  my purcime and money  like tiness. And if Ill ever return to buy an upcoming , or for  mig s t time. So, leave it as it is, my friend, and dont  until ts be satisfied ;

    Futile s attempts, to convince Sidd  e e otened to Kamasor seemed to be unable to pay, Kamas it o utter a feo o sleep badly.   ;ould you please not kid me  Ive learned from you is  of fiss and erests may be cise. I  learned to t to be to learn from me.quot;

    Indeed  rade. to provide  earned erest and curiosity s, s of fooliso be as alien and distant to alking to all of till a ted ing factor ime. oiling, sao o entirely untle pleasures, for being sliging eac pain at wions w feel.

    o everyt  old ory of y and reat t any different t -vendor  o reproacened curiously and ried to understand ed t tle bit rigurned a person o c o dra out of o appeal to o get ied, s,  t , and tire game and ts just as muco occupy them.

    At times , deep in , a dying, quiet voice, ed quietly; . And trange life s of t times, real life still passing  toucc in t,  o do  several times  of sucs and y to participate in all of tions of time , really to live, really to act, really to enjoy and to live instead of just standing by as a spectator. But again and again, o beautiful Kamala, learned t of love, practised t of lust, in ed ood ter to understand o him.

    Once, o ;You are like me, you are different from most people. You are Kamala, noto ;

    quot;Not all people are smart,quot; said Kamala.

    quot;No,quot; said Sidd;ts not t as smart as I, and still , o t people, Kamala, are like a falling leaf, umbles to t otars, ted one, Ill never be able to forget  is t Gotama, ted one, eacening to eacructions every  t in teac;

    Kamala looked at ;Again, youre talking about ; s;again, youre s.quot;

    Siddy or forty different games Kamala kneer; o make love, , many secrets. For a long time, siced ed erful skills, until ed and rested exed by her side.

    tesan bent over ook a long look at  ired.

    quot;You are t lover,quot; sfully, quot;I ever saronger t ime, o bear your c, my dear, youve remained a Samana, and yet you do not love me, you love nobody. Isnt it so?quot;

    quot;It mig; Siddiredly. quot;I am like you. You also do not love--ise love as a craft? Per love. ts t.quot;